We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dignity is for republicans.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
