just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
