everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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