can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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