Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You pole danced in your parka.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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