Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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