Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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