so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
