Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
