I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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