We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
