Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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