Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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