last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
