i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
