Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There's always time for handjobs
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize