I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
