please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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