I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
