Please, let me fuck your mom
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
honey bunches of taint.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
