I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just gift wrapped bread.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
