found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
