Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The feeling are messing with the penis
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
