I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
