Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
