do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
