Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
try to milk me bitch
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