i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
