And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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