I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
