You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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