To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
