So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sorry about my life...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
