its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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