don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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