new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
