Already got asked if we're dating
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
