Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
