Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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