Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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