did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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