i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
