I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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