using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
