I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
is it fun? or sober?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
