is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
