were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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