Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
