I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
