They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
