it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
What drink are we having for lunch?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
