i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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