That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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