I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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