But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
