so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize