omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You smell like stripper and shame
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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