She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
