kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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