who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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