the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
