she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
